Cowboys And Candied Yams

today was such a perfect day. i sent a postcard with a cowboy riding a jack rabbit,
drove through the mountains.

there is nothing to love more than being a passenger. let someone else be in control of things for a minute. it is so relaxing.when you're driving you miss so many of the beauties of car movement. like the tiny water droplets dancing across the passenger window, or how they change when it starts raining harder, or you start driving faster. or the way the water pools up on the road where the tires have driven most. and the way the rain splashes in the puddles and reflects the surrounding light just right. and on the windshield how the drops formulate unique jackson-pollock designs (make your own here http://www.jacksonpollock.org/), only to be wiped away and begin again. or the way you can hear music you never really liked but feel so happy and fulfilled in the fact that you are just listening and sitting. a guest in someone else's life. subject to their preferences, but thankfully so.

imagining exactly where it is that everyone is going. and feeling silly when i see a truck that i have a good idea where it is going. (donios has ruined me) feeling totally satisfied about talking to someone about art. even though i know he really knows not of what he speaks, a privilege which i also cannot claim. but mostly just the feeling coming over me that my life is totally in my control. maybe not to specifics, but the beauty of having the ability to control how i react to things. it's amazing. chris' grandma is such a nice lady. she apologizes for everything, down to that she is nervous that her furniture isn't nice enough, which is exactly false (her house feels like the pieterhov palace) even in her old age, she still just wants people to accept her. i could be annoyed by this attitude, and i think i normally would be. but today everything was just different. i couldn't help but love her. she's just a lady looking for love and acceptance, who am i to deny her that? especially when she is accomadating and apologetic.

i feel like a different person sometimes. like I'm not the Lindsey that i know.
but i like the new one much better. i hope there is snow on the ground when we get back to provo. and i hope that the icicles are still on my house. those were the biggest ones i'd ever seen in my life.